You know you’re in a small town when:
-The restaurant closes at lunch so the waitress can go home and eat
-The mayor’s nickname is “Greasy Dick” and besides appearing on the ballot, it also appears on his driver’s license.
-The fashion boutique/post office is located in one corner of the hardware store between the used milking machines and the pay toilet
-The police station is closed evenings and weekend, but they leave lit the sign that gives the time and temperature
-The newspaper prints the crossword puzzle in the front page above the fold, and prints the answers just below
-The zip code has three digits and features a decimal point
-The Narcotics Anonymous chapter has only one member, and he’s strung out on ranch dressing